All right, people: I see I’m getting a lot of hits. I want to see some questions! Email me at delilah@dommedelilah.com or comment here to ask a question – I promise to protect your anonymity and to let you know when I’ve answered your question.
For today, I’m going to answer a question which I don’t really have much of an answer to, but I’m guessing that people wonder these things and I suppose I have more knowledge about them than most.
Is there dungeon space with all the big fun equipment that can be rented by couples for bdsm and penetrative sex, with privacy and no pro-domme involvement? Where could such space be found? (Ideally in NYC.)
I live and work in the Boston area, and I gotta tell you – what you’re asking for is like some kind of Holy Grail of kink. (Hm, weird image. Made of stainless steel, I guess, with spikes sticking out of it? Meant for holding, I don’t know, blood? Piss, maybe? In any case…)
I’m not sure what it’s like in NYC, but I do know that there’s been a huge crackdown lately on dungeons and many pro dommes have been arrested. In the Boston area, it’s illegal to run any kind of public space for the purposes of sexual activity, due to outmoded bawdy-house laws. And in places where dungeon space is available, it’s usually either for pro domme use, or for large party or club-type activity.
The best shot I found for NYC is The Arena, which claims to do private rentals for couples, but all of the pages pointing that way show 404 errors. You could try emailing or calling them, though my guess is that they’ve shut down or at least gone underground.
One awesome space I explored when I was last in San Francisco is The Citadel, which is a cooperatively owned private club where you can do kink and sex, and where membership is as easy as walking in, filling out a little form, and paying your door fee. Privacy is, of course, not so much, as it’s more of an open playspace. But the ettiquette and crowd I found there was pleasingly similar to that I’d found at the more private play parties I’ve enjoyed.
In Boston, Princess Kali runs The Kink Academy, but it too seems like more of a space for hosting parties, classes and other larger events (10 or more) than it is for private use.
What you’re looking for seems like it would be difficult to sustain as a business model, though I think it would make a great themed B&B: each private room equipped with different types of bondage equipment or roleplay setups and rentable by the night. I want to hear about someone setting something like this up in NYC, Boston, or anywhere, really.
As it is, the leads I could find were in Australia, British Columbia, and San Francisco – though that last article – written in 1999 – implies that folks in Seattle and Massachusetts have started establishments as well. (Names would be helpful, but are not immediately forthcoming, for obvious reasons. And it’s bloody likely that they’re out of business by now, anyway.)
My advice to you and other readers is to make your own home as pervertible as possible – that is, create possibilities for bondage and sex that can be plausibly disguised as ordinary furniture, or hidden away with relative ease. If you’re a Home Depot type, there are endless possibilities. If you’ve got money to spend, there are many lightweight, portable things like suspension rigs and frames for sex slings. I know it’s difficult for most people to set up their homes like dungeons, given kids, pets, visiting parents and so on. But it may be the best option for what you’re looking for.
Loyal readers – correct me, please, if I’m wrong! Send me links to spaces that do this!
And send me your questions!
Advice and Consent: Delilah Wood's Blog 