Tuesday Advice: We’re not always kinky here

I was moved by the letter I got this week, and though it’s not topical in terms of kink, it’s a complex question about alternative relationships that might as well be discussed here as anywhere.
I welcome your questions, not only about kink, but about polyamory, bisexuality, and any other relational issues you think [...]

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This about made me weep with joy today…

“Now when I look at myself I feel like a woman,” says Ngozi, who says she has even experienced orgasms for the first time in her life. “It’s beautiful, I just love it, it feels like you’re melting. Before it irritated me when my husband tried to touch me, now I reach out to him.”
A [...]

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Bad, bad dominant

Someone just friended me on Facebook whom I haven’t seen in a while: an adorable, pigtailed, somewhat gender-queer boy I’ll call Paul. Paul is younger than I am, very smart, but generally demure around me in a way that drives me crazy. In that good way.
Looking at his picture, I’m reminded [...]

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Monday Advice: Unsafewords

Dear Delilah:
I have a very easy safeword with any play partner where safewords would be needed – I say their name. I don’t really say much during sex-or-kink anyhow, so the push of speaking at all plus the push of specifically saying their name makes it a useful safeword, in my opinion.
The problem I’m [...]

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Monday Advice: Trickster Followup

Hey, Delilah,
So, just wanted to follow up and say that I’ve moved, and now I’m in my new place unpacking and it’s just so much more awesome than packing was.
So what can you tell me about the process?
Yours,
Sees Evidence of Light, Finally
Dear SELF,
Nice to hear from you again. Here’s the story of [...]

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The one time I did – Part 2

[Part 1 is here.]
I’ve taken the cuffs off of him and for a moment we’re equals, dropped lightly out of the scene and into a few seconds of friendly conversation, laced with compassion and care.
“I haven’t been to that place in a long time,” he tells me again. “I so needed it.”
“I’m not done [...]

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Yes, you heard right – it’s Monday Advice!

Today’s questioner brings up the very valid question of what happens when we start getting all meta on ourselves – or as I like to think of it, human.
I’m a switch, so I enjoy both domming and subbing. I’m also a scatterbrain and an overthinker, which means it’s hard for me to [...]

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Race Play and freedom

I recently stumbled across Mollena’s blog, and in particular her four-part interview on race play (listen to the woman and read them in order – it’s worth it).
Race play is a topic that I’ve mostly avoided, both in my life and my work. I’ve had people ask me to play the white mistress to [...]

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BDSM and paths to healing

I’ve been loving on Trinity’s blog enough that I’ve been reading the back issues. Yesterday I took a look at this post on the commonalities she draws between some radical feminist camps’ views on BDSM, and the rhetoric of ex-gay movements. In a nutshell: while both are careful to say up-front that they’re [...]

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Rape scene, or fetishized consent? Or, I finally saw Blade Runner

I cannot stop watching this movie.
And I can’t believe I went all of these years without seeing this beautiful, strange, moving and problematic piece of cinema. I finally saw it this weekend – twice in as many days – and I’m ready to watch it again, soaking in it the way I soaked in [...]

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