Saw a wonderful, sweet client today. He was terribly nervous, for all the usual reasons: not wanting to get found out, worrying that his desires were strange, not believing that he could broach the topic with his wife, constantly window-shopping pro domme websites. It amazes me how needed the services I’m now offering seem to [...]
Posts Tagged ‘things we don’t talk about’
It never ceases to amaze me
Posted in Explainers, Kink and Healing, Philosophizing, Sexuality, tagged clients, communication, kink psychology, professional, things we don't talk about on July 10, 2010 | 3 Comments »
Excellent news for the DSM-V – with reservations
Posted in Media Commentary, Philosophizing, Sexuality, tagged evolution, kink psychology, links, things we don't talk about on February 27, 2010 | 5 Comments »
After a great deal of work by the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders has agreed to change its criteria for its Paraphilias section, which up until this moment has listed Exhibitionism, Fetishism, Sexual Sadism, Sexual Masochism, Frotteurism, Pedophilia, Transvestic Fetishism, and Voyeurism as mental disorders in and [...]
Poor Ray Gosling
Posted in Media Commentary, tagged facepalm, links, things we don't talk about, video on February 22, 2010 | Leave a Comment »
I was listening to my local NPR station in the car the other day and was overcome with sadness when I heard this short news story: Ray Gosling, a longtime BBC presenter, confessed on-air to killing his lover more than 20 years ago – smothering him with a pillow when the pain from AIDS had [...]
Identity management
Posted in Explainers, Philosophizing, Sexuality, tagged communication, evolution, the me guide, things we don't talk about on January 14, 2010 | 1 Comment »
Sorry for the long hiatus; holidays, Martian death flu, and all manner of other drama have kept me from this page. Hoping to remedy that and crank out more regular material. Ages ago, a friend asked me how I manage privacy online. See, I have a few online identities. Some things I write are public, [...]
Tuesday Advice: We’re not always kinky here
Posted in Advice, tagged dating, ettiquette, polyamory, things we don't talk about on December 9, 2009 | 7 Comments »
I was moved by the letter I got this week, and though it’s not topical in terms of kink, it’s a complex question about alternative relationships that might as well be discussed here as anywhere. I welcome your questions, not only about kink, but about polyamory, bisexuality, and any other relational issues you think I [...]
This about made me weep with joy today…
Posted in Sexuality, tagged gender, links, news, things we don't talk about on October 25, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
“Now when I look at myself I feel like a woman,” says Ngozi, who says she has even experienced orgasms for the first time in her life. “It’s beautiful, I just love it, it feels like you’re melting. Before it irritated me when my husband tried to touch me, now I reach out to him.” [...]
Bad, bad dominant
Posted in Sexuality, tagged gender, kink psychology, objectification, polyamory, switching, the me guide, things we don't talk about on October 25, 2009 | 5 Comments »
Someone just friended me on Facebook whom I haven’t seen in a while: an adorable, pigtailed, somewhat gender-queer boy I’ll call Paul. Paul is younger than I am, very smart, but generally demure around me in a way that drives me crazy. In that good way. Looking at his picture, I’m reminded of a certain [...]
Monday Advice: Unsafewords
Posted in Advice, tagged communication, how-to, safewords, things we don't talk about on September 21, 2009 | 4 Comments »
Dear Delilah: I have a very easy safeword with any play partner where safewords would be needed – I say their name. I don’t really say much during sex-or-kink anyhow, so the push of speaking at all plus the push of specifically saying their name makes it a useful safeword, in my opinion. The problem [...]
Monday Advice: Trickster Followup
Posted in Advice, Silliness, tagged facepalm, how-to, insanity, the horror, things we don't talk about, toys on September 7, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Hey, Delilah, So, just wanted to follow up and say that I’ve moved, and now I’m in my new place unpacking and it’s just so much more awesome than packing was. So what can you tell me about the process? Yours, Sees Evidence of Light, Finally Dear SELF, Nice to hear from you again. Here’s [...]
Marina Abramović: pain, presence, art and kink
Posted in Media Commentary, Performance, Philosophizing, tagged identity, kink psychology, links, pain, things we don't talk about, video on June 24, 2010 | 1 Comment »
I’ve been pretty silent here for a while. There are reasons, of course; there always are. But I would like to be saying more in this space. It’s just that the things that are happening to me in the kink realm seem increasingly private, and it’s hard to talk about them in a space where [...]
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