Don’t throw out the bullwhip with the bathwater

I recently did something I should have done ages ago, which is turn on Google alerts and make it tell me whenever certain key words or phrases are mentioned in the news. Doing this for “BDSM” has garnered some interesting results, not the least of which is a continuation of the trend that Bitchy has [...]

Read Full Post »

From the it’s-funny-because-it’s-true department

A lover of mine stumbled across this song after loading a bunch of stuff onto his iPod and sticking it on shuffle. He then played it for me, and I was slain not just by the song itself (which is in fact hilarious), but by how many of the typical sub male fantasies I’ve encountered [...]

Read Full Post »

Enraging thinking by well-meaning people, part #3479

Last night’s Diane Rehm Show was a panel discussion on France’s recently passed ban of the veil and the burqa. It included the voice of Asra Nomani, a journalist and American Muslim whose heritage stems from a strict Indian sect who forced women to veil their faces. She herself was raised a modern woman by [...]

Read Full Post »

Marina Abramović: pain, presence, art and kink

I’ve been pretty silent here for a while. There are reasons, of course; there always are. But I would like to be saying more in this space. It’s just that the things that are happening to me in the kink realm seem increasingly private, and it’s hard to talk about them in a space where [...]

Read Full Post »

Sugar daddies are okay; cougars are toast

So, after my advice the other day, I found this New York Times article, about how Google has begun a ban on advertising for cougar dating sites. Cougars, for those of you who have been asleep, are older women who want to date younger men. Sites like Cougar Life promise to set up older, sexy, [...]

Read Full Post »

Tuesday Advice! Yes, it’s Wednesday. But, sugar daddies!

It’s been a while since I’ve been answering questions here, but I got one recently and have been stewing on it a bit. Here’s my stab at it. Dear Delilah: I hope you had a delightfully kinky May Day! Maybe the change in season will inspire a fever of questions . I know I have [...]

Read Full Post »

Support the work of an amazing young educator and sexuality warrior

Recently, Maymay, my favorite young sexuality warrior, was attacked by two women named Donna M. Hughes and Margaret Brooks, who are affiliated with the branch of the Salvation Army that deals with sex trafficking. They set about to defame him, name him a pedophile and a generally disgusting human being, and make out his KinkForAll [...]

Read Full Post »

Excellent news for the DSM-V – with reservations

After a great deal of work by the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders has agreed to change its criteria for its Paraphilias section, which up until this moment has listed Exhibitionism, Fetishism, Sexual Sadism, Sexual Masochism, Frotteurism, Pedophilia, Transvestic Fetishism, and Voyeurism as mental disorders in and [...]

Read Full Post »

Poor Ray Gosling

I was listening to my local NPR station in the car the other day and was overcome with sadness when I heard this short news story: Ray Gosling, a longtime BBC presenter, confessed on-air to killing his lover more than 20 years ago – smothering him with a pillow when the pain from AIDS had [...]

Read Full Post »

In which I show my true colors

[Note: for those of you who watch Lost and haven't yet reached the Season 5 episode "He's Our You" - SPOILER ALERT - READ NO FURTHER!] I’ve mentioned in this space before that I have a thing for interrogation scenes, and that that fact scares me a bit. In fact, the more I’ve gotten into [...]

Read Full Post »